With the exception of the one or two people I know who keep pristine homes, nearly every mom I know (or any woman for that matter), apologizes for the state of her home when I come over. Actually, I’m totally guilty of this too. Though, to be honest, my apology is more like “Sorry my house is so messy, but seriously, try keeping a house clean with this many kids.” Every. Damn. Woman. Apologizes. I’m going to say it now ladies, and I think if we can just all agree on this point — the needless, phony apologizing can go out the window. I do NOT CARE if your house is messy. I doubt you care if mine is, either! You know why? I’m not a 1950s judgmental member of your bridge club coming over to sip mint juleps on a Tuesday afternoon. Virtually everyone I know has some degree of mess in their home. And that is OK!
Now, this is not to say I prefer the look of a messy house. Quite the contrary. Looking at a clean room strokes my feel-good brain chemicals in the way nothing else can. It gives me a sense of calm like nothing else to have a clean house, or to hang out in one. But, I know reality is not Pinterest. I used to keep a very tidy home. And you know what I did pretty much every waking hour of my day? CLEAN. And when I spend the majority of my short time here on Earth scrubbing toilets or organizing toys, it makes me a very angry and bitter human being. Cleaning sucks! Sure, don’t live in squalor, but don’t kill yourself trying to make your home look like a model home. You live there! Mess just comes with the territory.
There are days when my house is so messy I want to cry (or maybe I do cry). I like to keep a baseline of cleanliness where we have clean clothing to wear, dishes to eat from and we aren’t wallowing in our own fecal matter. Other than that, I run several businesses, take care of four children, occasionally cook meals, haul kids to activities and play dates and try to be a good person. While I’d love to make having an immaculate home number one on the priority list, it just isn’t. I’d rather spend time hanging out with my kids, helping them with homework, playing with them or listening to how their days were. Please know that I am quite sincere when I visit your home and say, “No judgement.” Don’t stress about cleaning before I come over and I’ll do the same. Unless you have bedbugs and poo smeared on your walls, then I’m good. Seriously.